A bolt of lightening struck leaving me breathless. There was no real warning, just a brilliant flash of light, deafening sound and crippling fear. It was recommended that I get “my affairs in order”. Anger, sorrow, fear, pity, regret, desperation, stubbornness, defiance, hopelessness, and confusion, swirl in with violent and destructive force like debris in a tornado. I felt like destroying something beautiful. I refuse to listen.I am a fighter. I always have been. No one has a more competitive drive than me. The animal instincts are taking over. It’s a strange mix of absolute clarify bordering on madness. I know the Vegas line, 24% -81% fatality rate. It’s time to train to get in the ring with the undefeated champion. As Tyler Durden said “On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. “ I will not get my fucking affairs in order!! This is just another early morning wake up call. I will control my destiny.
Someone recently told me that some paths in life are traveled alone. That may be true, but some paths are much less difficult to travel. My grandmother would tell me “This is your cross to bear and you can’t judge other person by the cross they bear because to them it is no less of a burden.” In the end we are all standing naked and alone staring into the black abyss. It’s funny, during this lull in travel I’m been looking for sometime to write about. Now that I’ve got a topic, I’ve lost my voice and writing no longer seems important.
“There was silence deep as death,
And the boldest held his breath
For a time.”
Thomas Campbell (1777–1844)
