Dirty Secrets

"The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart."

Saint Jerome (374 AD-419 AD)

Each of us is hiding behind a stoic façade a dirty little secret that we pray each day will disappear but never does. It seems to start so innocently with such modesty. It was a part of what was so endearing about the person, a reckless nature of indulgence, the life of the party, the clown whose antics and yarns are the envy of the group. The infallible personality that everyone loves and wants to be in the presence of is what we remember the most. Those distant memories are only fragments of a time of naivety we hold on to like chards of broken glass from a past existence. Gripping the past so tenaciously that the chards we hold cut deep into our flesh. Somewhere along the way the evil took hold, a point time you cannot recall.

Then slowly you realize that the actions have become predictable, a pattern emerges that is only discernable to you by careful scrutiny. A small defect emerges in a once pristine personality. It starts with a familiar story that you have heard more times than you can recall, it’s a trigger, a warning sign of what’s to come. It’s the storm that gathers on the horizon building strength in the hot summer sky threatening the calm still air, threatening the perfect silence of the moment. No one else surrounding you knows the story as well as you, no one can see the shift in posture, the eyes that lose a ever so slight glint of passion, a word falls from the lips haphazardly as it shatters on the floor like a glass alerting you to increase your attentiveness, which only hastens the unavoidable car wreck. A gentle suggestion is ignored, simple prompt is deflected, a not so subtle look is repulsed, while oblivious to your concerns there is an increasing amount of push back, exerting a stubbornness blinded by the desire to continue into the ugly crevasse for reasons unknown. A small turn down a dark path foretells the danger.

The crowd swept up by the spectacle drives the exhibition on to a frenzied pitch, like a mob at the carnival they stare at the freak show empowered by the fact that they aren’t the biggest baboon on display. Individuals that were strangers only hours ago are now life long buddies as you hope for the best. A mob mentality surfaces as the signs of a riot echo against the walls of poor judgment. All you can do is watch disgusted, hurt, embarrassed, sympathetic and angry that it is your responsibility to clear the wreckage, to explain the lack of judgment, to reconcile the image of self abuse. The well worn excuses roll of your tongue as if memorized childhood rhymes as you attempt to recall how many times you have used this exact excuse with the same crowd. After a while you just stop offering excuses because everyone has heard it, everyone knows the pattern and no thin veneer of makeup can disguise the sad reality. You have become the caretaker, the arbitrator, the enabler, the warden; you have become the adult to a child.

Afterwards you sit solemn in the darkness with your head bowed in your hands, wondering why the self destruction is of so little concern, of no importance at all. Why it is such a proudly protected right to abuse themselves without compromise to which they will defend to their death. How can they view your compassion and concern with only the contempt of denying a condemned man the entitlement of his last meal? It’s my life, it’s my body and I can do with it as I please, you have no ownership, no say in this relationship we have create together. My poor decisions only impact me; my unilateral actions are mine to wallow in like a vane teenager peering into a mirror. How dare you ask me to think beyond the moment and remove this cancerous growth that is now so much of who I am?

As the destructive play is repeated over and over throughout the years, the script increases in intensity, the play becomes more violent, the actors know their roles so well that there is no enjoyment like a drone of flies against a screen door. The frequency becomes more prevalent, what was exclusively a weekend premier, is now more often a weekday matinee. Then before you notice it’s not about the audiences any more, there is no need for anyone to watch for the play to continue in the void of emptiness. It becomes a ritual of destruction, an obsessive masturbation which is just as easily preformed solo. In the end we turn a blind eye to the damage being done. It is much easier to clean up the broken glass than it is to stand in front of the bullet. Resentment slowly gnaws at your conscience, poisoning ever simple discussions as you keep the boil buried deep beneath the skin. Like a contagious disease the cancer is passed to you, only your symptoms are anger, pain, isolation, depression which robs you of self respect and compassion. Every so often the sickness of your soul erupts with unbridled violence and venom. You strike out attempting to exorcise the disabling disease which has taken root for years with a single swift and brutal assault of verbal dismembering. The violent eruption of those isolated moments are met which equal fierceness which only alienates and divides. Why do you impose limits to my self destruction? I see no harm in the mutilation, there is little justification to question my motives.

Little by little like the snow pack grinds away the stoutest of granite peaks as your will to resist; your desire to set the course right is tried and worn until you lose the motivation to change the gradual descent into hell. Instead you spend your time crafting cleaver disguises for your dirty little secret. In anger and pain you disconnect driving the chasm of isolation wider and wider, until you can no longer see the other side through the foggy pall of depression. Finally you become the victim, the dying heroine of this tragic play when as Grace Slick would say “the little pills that mother gives you don’t do anything at all.” You pass the time in the fantasy of escape, if only I could have the courage to run, to leave this all behind, to be swept from the ground by a tornado like Dorothy and deposited in another world. Bound by some powerful magnetism you are compelled to ride this hell bound train to its conclusion, the final stop knowing all along it guarantees your own destruction.

Why do so many of us deal with addictive behavior in a close relationship such as a partner or a family member. The numbers are staggering when you decide to count the dirty little secrets hidden in plain sight all around us. Compulsive destructive abuse of drugs, alcohol, gambling or tobacco is everywhere close to us, but yet we tolerate it in the people we care the most about. Slaying the demon is no easy task; it requires placing everything we value at risk in order to succeed and just as easier can equally result in failure and irreparable damage. Instead we become paralyzed, unable to act taking the coward’s way out by ignoring the ugliness and deceit. Tomorrow it will be better, tomorrow things will change, but tomorrow is just a faded dream, a tattered illusion we trick ourselves with while we bleed a little more dignity today.

You will have to excuse me, the play is beginning without notice and once again I need to take my place in support of this American travesty, take my place as the dying heroine destine to be a victim of my own neglect. Where is my anger and resentment? Where is my cloak of depression and despair? The curtains are opening and the dirty little secret is once again on public display. I must hurry, where is my basket of excuses? There is no time the car wreck has begun; the hell bound train is departing. The crowd is jeering knowing today’s self destruction is going to be better than ever. Forgive me I am not allowed to talk to you, it is not allowed. I must hurry hell is waiting for me.

"The only alternative to coexistence is codestruction."

Jawaharlal Nehru (1889-1964)

In The Depths of Solitude

i exist in the depths of solitude
pondering my true goal
trying 2 find peace of mind
and still preserve my soul
constantly yearning 2 be accepted
and from all receive respect
never comprising but sometimes risky
and that is my only regret
a young heart with an old soul
how can there be peace
how can i be in the depths of solitude
when there r 2 inside of me
this duo within me causes
the perfect opportunity
2 learn and live twice as fast
as those who accept simplicity

Tupac Shakur

Pathology of Genius

I drank to drown my pain, but the damned pain learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good behavior.

Frida Kahlo (1907-1954)

Slowly over time a condition of pathology has been developing unknown to me. It may have started as long ago as decades. It was most likely a gift for my father who given the gift from his father. It has been most surely aggravated by my lifestyle. Without warning the condition reached a tipping point and erupted in a matter of hours into the most painful event I could ever imagined to experience. I have always considered myself as having a reasonably high tolerance to pain, but this eclipsed any previous understanding of chronic pain.

Acute pain of the type I experienced for nine days can only be described as the most extreme physical suffering and distress, coupled with severe emotional torment. The word pain does not even adequately describe the feeling, a combination of torture, misery, torment; agony and anguish are more accurate definitions of the intensity of the feeling. Consider the moment when you slam, with excessive force, a hammer on your unprotected thumb. Consider that moment of searing, burning, throbbing pain that explodes into white light in your eyes while your nervous system is so overwhelmed by an electrical shockwave that your body can no longer command your legs to stand and you drop to your knees. Consider the feeling of accidentally sticking your thumb into a caldron of white hot molten lead then holding it high above your head to amplify the throbbing drum beat of your heart.

The severe pain I have described is somewhat temporal because your body immediately prepares a survival defense against pain. As the pain reaches your brain, neuropeptides and other peptides, such as the endorphins and enkephalins are poured into your system providing profound analgesic (pain-relieving) effects similar to morphine. Now consider what it feels like if your body has no defense and the pain is unmitigated and chronic, without anyway to lessen the severity of the agony and suffering. Here’s another way of describing the unrelenting torture of the past nine days. Due to my wife’s recent surgeries I have access to fairly powerful pain killers while waiting for a doctor’s to treat me. Consider stacking both Vicodin and Oxycontin on top of one another and eating them like Chiclets with absolutely no reduction in the severity of the agony. Welcome to the “Disease of Kings” or more commonly known as “gout”

In the medical references, attacks of gout are so painful that they are described as being comparable only to the agony of childbirth. Fortunately modern medicine has virtually eliminated severe child birth pain with 90% of women having epidurals. In my defense I’m not sure that those that decide to forego pain medication are in labor for nine days. My doctor indicated that there is only one condition that is more painful than gout which is passing kidney stones and by the way if you don’t treat the gout aggressively it can result in the formation of kidney stones. Oh great!

The word "gout" is derived from the Latin gutta, meaning "a drop," and reflects the ancient belief that the disease was caused by a malevolent fluid dropping into the weakened joints. The problem was that no one really knew what caused gout. For years people attributed it to all sorts of things; Saint Gregory the Great viewed his own gout as a form of mortification visited upon him by the Lord. Less lofty souls simply used their eyes and saw that most gout sufferers tended to be heavy eaters and drinkers who, as was often the case, happened to be either priests or members of the aristocracy.

Gout implies a grand life spent drinking the finest wines or that the road to hell is paved with good vintages. Kings and saints alike have suffered from it. So have great artists. Some sociologists have linked gout with the pathology of genius. Of course, this is all coincidence. Gout may not be a measure of your breeding or status, but in my case it could have been aggravated by many years of fine dining and entertaining of clients.

According to an article in Forbes magazine, “In the old days, treatment of gout was no less primitive than most other forms of medicine. After all, remember that for centuries doctors firmly believed in the healthful benefits of leeching and trepanning (a particularly painful operation, usually used in connection with bad headaches that involved boring a hole in the patient's skull). Not surprisingly, the survival rate was depressingly low and even though gout was rarely a fatal disease, because there was nothing doctors could do to treat it, many of their patients may have wished they were dead.

The closest thing to a remedy was "flannel and patience." The affected joint, most often the big toe, would be propped on a stool and swathed in flannel and the sufferer would simply have to wait in pain until the attack subsided--which could often be up to two weeks. The pain could be so great and the skin so sensitive that even the weight of a bedsheet could send the sufferer into agonies. It was believed that only port and other fortified wines were to blame for the gout but small beer, punch and whiskey were considered therapeutic. Doctors prescribed these in liberal doses although it never seemed to strike them as odd that their patients only got worse.


In the early part of this century a fashionable treatment was to encase the sufferer's foot in a glass boot and use vibration-generated heat to reduce the pain. Unfortunately, more often than not it had the opposite effect: The vibrations would dislodge the uric acid, which immediately went to the kidneys and frequently resulted in kidney failure and sometimes death.”

One false belief was that only port and other fortified wines caused gout. England saw a dramatic rise in gout after 1703 when Pedro II, king of Portugal, decided to ally himself with the British in the War of the Spanish Succession. This resulted in a treaty that allowed Portugal, in exchange for buying British wool, to export its wines to Britain at one-third the tariff imposed on French wines. Everyone, except the French of course, found this an advantageous development and soon Britain was importing Portugal's finest wines in unprecedented volumes. These wines, like many wines at the time, were subject to spoilage and the shippers "fortified" the wines by adding brandy and then stored them in lead casks. Lead, however, is soluble in alcohol and an epidemic of saturnine gout--this is a particular kind of gout that is also found among moonshiners in the U.S. whose stills are also often lead-lined--erupted across the British Isles.”

The cause of gout is the accumulation of urine acid in the blood which begins to crystallize into needle like crystals in the joints. Elevated levels of urine acid in the blood are a result of digesting a type of protein that is high in purines. Treatment of gout requires limiting food high in perines as well as taking a pill everyday for the rest of my life, because the disease is incurable. It sounds simple enough until I looked at the list of food high in purines which includes, red meat, seafood, lamb, organ meats, duck, mushrooms, asparagus, alcohol, poultry and just about everything else I enjoy while fine dining. In simple terms if I like it, I can’t eat it and if I don’t like it, I can eat as much of it as I like. It is a great way to become anorexic. I’m not sure this diet is going to work well with me. Take anything you want but don’t take away my ability to dine well on the road it’s the only thing that makes travel bearable. Like the old NRA advertisements you can have my foie gras when you wrench it out of my cold dead fingers.

Just in case we have the opportunity to meet in a fine restaurant some time in the future, I want to profusely apologize in advance for my behavior. You will know which is me, I’ll be the one in the corner with a plate of seafood with asparagus, a vodka martini and a wonderful mushroom consume screaming “Son of a Bitch that hurts” as I hobble into the night. Just nod your head at another victim of the Pathology of genius.

The more severe the pain or illness, the more severe will be the necessary changes. These may involve breaking bad habits, or acquiring some new and better ones.

Peter McWilliams

Angel Of Healing

Let me take your sorrows
Let me drown your pain
Give me all the troubles
That run through your veins
I can extinguish the hurt
Just let me hold it in my hands
I can squeeze it into nothing
If you just show me where it stands
Hand to me all your problems
Let me cover you in light
I may be your ordinary angel
But let me heal you tonight

Tatianna Rei Moonshadow

The Instinct of Hope

Tomorrow is a day of recompense of which the future is uncertain. Once again a surgeon’s cold steel will exorcise evil in the weakness of flesh. Hopeless to change what is written in blood of the innocent, breathless I shall wait for fate to be revealed. In the darkness of the night the landscape is barren except for the warm glow of the instinct of hope.

Is there another world for this frail dust
To warm with life and be itself again?
Something about me daily speaks there must,
And why should instinct nourish hopes in vain?
'Tis nature's prophesy that such will be,
And everything seems struggling to explain
The close sealed volume of its mystery.
Time wandering onward keeps its usual pace
As seeming anxious of eternity,
To meet that calm and find a resting place.
E'en the small violet feels a future power
And waits each year renewing blooms to bring,
And surely man is no inferior flower
To die unworthy of a second spring?


John Clare (1793-1864)

Cradle of Inspiration

The finest piece of mechanism in all the universe is the brain of man. The wise person develops his brain, and opens his mind to the genius and spirit of the world's great ideas. He will feel inspired with the purest and noblest thoughts that have ever animated the spirit of humanity.

Alfred A. Montapert

True inspiration has its origins in many aspects of life, some more direct and immediate, others subtle requiring reasoning and discovery. Seeking inspiration is a primary tool for the creative process of an artist. In its purest form inspiration is an energy that stimulates the mind contrary to the established path of thought and consciousness, allowing new paths to be explored in a mind expanding experience. These new pathways stimulate neurons that alter perception and reasoning to the degree that revelations occur. Consistent with any life force, creativity is energy that ebbs and flows in intensity and magnitude providing periods of abandonment and periods of abundance. The challenge of the artist is to continuously mine copious amounts of inspiration to fuel and sustain the creative process over extended periods of time.

Understanding the need to accumulate creative inspiration is the easy part, while capturing the source of inspiration in sufficient quality to sustain innovation is a much more elusive endeavor. Each individual establishes a personal methodology for acquiring inspiration. For some inspiration is gained while exceeding personal limits of endurance while hiking mountain peaks, while other look inward to in contemplation and meditation, but everyone one is unique in the method of seeking and quality of inspiration required to function in the world. Admittedly some in society are devoid of creative pursuit never finding the need to challenge their perception of life, comfortable to reside in a familiar environment, always resistant to change.

One of my fundamental sources of creative inspiration is devouring an exceptionally wide universe to subjects and topics. Board exposure to the arts, literature, science, philosophy, engineering, design, geography, culture and history dumps an enormous amount of information into the crucible to be dissected and broken down to its fundamental elements. These rendered pieces of reasoning and thought bump into each other forming new combinations of connections and postulations needing exploration. Each discovery of a new source of information is savored as it adds new favors and insights to the crucible

The recent board meeting conducted in Montreal provided me a rare opportunity to find a wealth of creative energy which has fueled me for the last month and conceivably for many months into the future. The source of the inspiration is the other members of this nation board from which I participate with. Individually each one is what I would consider brilliant and driven toward pioneering leadership in new and emerging areas of practice and theory. They are all within their intellectual prime and are recognized internationally as the steward of a movement. This particular board has a focus on environmental infrastructure, so each of these diverse thinkers is committed to environmental change on a global scale. The most rewarding of all is than these individuals are not just committed to change they are actively redefining the world as we know, which adds to the inspiration for me. Observing and discussing how one takes creativity energy and effectively applies it with success to real world problems places creativity in a powerful context.

Our Meeting Place, Old Town, Montreal. Phot by Mr. Blue

Arriving to the hotel early I run into Scott in the lobby and decide to grab a late lunch around the corner at a small French bistro. As I order a glass of wine, we catch up on the intervening months since our last board meeting. Scott is one of the world’s leading authorities in industry ecology, a new science which has emerged as the focus of considerable interest in urban planning circles. Industrial ecology is an interdisciplinary study of technology, society and ecology that sees industrial systems (for example a factory, an eco-region, or national or global economy) as being part of the biosphere. Industrial ecology is the shifting of industrial process from linear (open loop) systems, in which resource and capital investments move through the system to become waste, to a closed loop system where wastes become inputs for new processes.

Unfamiliar with the concept Scott explains, the industrial metabolism, that is, the flows of energy and materials through socio-economic structures, is seen as the major driver of environmental burdens and threats to sustainability. Technology in its function of transforming energy and materials into goods and services, and inevitably also into wastes and emissions, is seen as a key to more sustainable solutions. As we eat lunch Scott receives a call about an industry swap meeting he organized before coming to Montreal. He is excited to know that the event was a huge success requiring the participants to be run out of the meeting room after running over by three hours. The focus of the meeting was to allow industrial manufacturers in the area to swap and trade post manufacturing waste and excess materials. With a sense of glee while concluding his call, Scott informs me the swap meet resulted in thirty five trade agreements which represents waste diversion of millions of pounds of materials now to be looped back into the manufacturing process of products and services.

As we finish lunch another board member, Steven is strolling past the restaurant on the cobblestone street. We tap on the window to get his attention and wave at him encouraging him to come in and join us. Smiling Steven nods while heading toward the door. Warmly we greet our old friend as he sits at the table. The small talk covers the usual topics as we catch up until we begin to discuss professional activities. Steven indicates that he is in the process of collecting photos for a new textbook on Biophilia. I ask Steven to define Biophilia and he begins with Harvard biologist Edward O. Wilson, PhD, who coined the term biophilia in his book by the same name in 1984. Dr. Wilson argued that human beings have an innate and evolutionarily based affinity for nature. He defined the term as “the connections that human beings subconsciously seek with the rest of life.”

Excited to share a conversation about his passion, Steven continued with Kellert, who co-edited The Biophilia Hypothesis with Wilson in 1993 and more recently wrote Building for Life in 2005. In which defining the concept of biophilia as “a complex of weak genetic tendencies to value nature that are instrumental in human physical, material, emotional, intellectual, and moral well-being. Because biophilia is rooted in human biology and evolution, it represents an argument for conserving nature based on long-term self-interest.”

As his hands begin to moves with greater exaggeration Steven moves on to Judith Heerwagen, PhD, a psychologist whose research has focused on the relationship between buildings and psychological well-being and who has written widely on the subject, suggests Biophilia, has evolved as an adaptive mechanism to protect people from hazards and to help them access such resources as food, water, and shelter. In a friendly challenge knowing that Steven will take the bait, I ask him why Biophilia matters.

Animated he begins pounding the table, stating we should care about biophilia in building design for two primary reasons. First, it is becoming increasingly well demonstrated that biophilic elements have real, measurable benefits relative to such human performance metrics as productivity, emotional well-being, stress reduction, learning, and healing. And second, from an environmental standpoint, biophilic features foster an appreciation of nature, which, in turn, should lead to greater protection of natural areas, eliminate pollution, and maintain a clean environment. The discussion culminates is a jovial round of laughter as we chide Steven that he needs to seek professional help to deal with his obsession.

Looking at his watch, Scott says that Michael and Rick two other board members were going to grab a taxi together and should be in route from the airport. He flips open his cell phone calling Michael to get an idea of how long it would be before they arrived at the hotel and suggests that they drop off the luggage and head to our restaurant to have a cocktail with the crowd. About twenty minutes later they stroll in the restaurant bundled in thick coats to protect them from the cold. As the handshakes and smiles continue, I suggest we move to a larger table in front of a large rustic stone fireplace with an inviting roaring fire. As we settle in and order a round of cocktails, Michael declines and asks for some hot tea.

Looking much thinner than the last board meeting, Michael indicates that stomach still has not recovered having just returned from Lomé the capitol of Togo a country in West Africa bordering Ghana. Since the last board meeting, Michael resigned his position at one of the greenest development companies in the nation and started his own green venture capital company. After discussing the reason for his transition, the conversation turns to why he was in Africa. In an absolutely fascinating story, Michael explained how his new company is developing a distributed green power infrastructure for the country using biomass energy generators.

To many people, the most familiar forms of renewable energy are the wind and the sun. But biomass (plant material and animal waste) supplies almost 15 times as much energy in the United States as wind and solar power combined—and has the potential to supply much more. There are a wide variety of biomass energy resources, including tree and grass crops and forestry, agricultural, and urban wastes. It is the oldest source of renewable energy known Biomass is a renewable energy source because the energy it contains comes from the sun. Through the process of photosynthesis, chlorophyll in plants captures the sun's energy by converting carbon dioxide from the air and water from the ground into carbohydrates, complex compounds composed of carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen. When these carbohydrates are burned, they turn back into carbon dioxide and water and release the sun's energy they contain. In this way, biomass functions as a sort of natural battery for storing solar energy. As long as biomass is produced sustainably—with only as much used as is grown—the battery will last indefinitely.

From the time of Prometheus to the present, the most common way to capture the energy from biomass was to burn it, to make heat, steam, and electricity. But advances in recent years have shown that there are more efficient and cleaner ways to use biomass. It can be converted into liquid fuels, for example, or cooked in a process called "gasification" to produce combustible gases. Current agricultural practices in Togo is to burn the fields after harvest to remove the stubble, which is a major contributor to the poor air quality of the county while releasing huge amounts of carbon dioxide. Michael’s plan was to collect and use this agricultural biomass to fuel the power generators.

After discussing the culture, economy, geopolitical influences, government and obstacles in Togo the conversation turns to the financial model Michael was proposing to fund the five hundred million dollar investment. In a brilliant plan, Michael using a World Bank loan will sell on the international market the carbon credits generated by the biomass energy recover to pay the investors since biomass energy is carbon neutral. After five years of operation the biomass energy will generate sufficient carbon credits to pay off the investors, allowing Michael’s to turn over the entire national power infrastructure to the Togo government. I sat there in total amazement thinking about how Michael was poised to take a country of over eleven million residents making them independent of oil using sustainable power in a matter of five years. I always talk about changing the world, but here is someone that is doing it. What an inspiring discussion that was for me.

The group turns to Rick to ask how his architectural practice is was proceeding. Rick is a principal in a firm that specializes in Biomimicry which is a relatively new science that studies nature, its models, systems, processes and elements and then imitates or takes creative inspiration from them to solve human problems sustainably.

In the 1997 book, "Biomimicry: Innovation Inspired by Nature", Janine M. Benyus introduced the concept. We spend some time discussing the numerous examples of men and women who are studying some of nature's most wondrous achievements including photosynthesis, natural selection, self-sustaining ecosystems, etc., and then, "... consciously emulating life's genius," to improve manufacturing processes, create new medicines, change the way we grow food or even harness energy. Rick explains that Biomimicry principles instruct us to: build from the bottom up, self-assemble, optimize rather than maximize, use free energy, cross-pollinate, embrace diversity, adapt and evolve, use life-friendly materials and processes, engage in symbiotic relationships, and enhance the bio-sphere. By following these principles, you can create products and processes that are well adapted to life on earth.

I look around the table and realize that the entire board is present with the exception of Dan. We decide to call Dan see if he wants to join us in front of fireplace. Ten minutes later the board of directors is complete as Dan opens the door and heads toward the table. With a close clipped beard of salt and pepper, Dan is the original hippy who decided to join the establishment in order to make a difference. Dan’s area of expertise is environmental law and his firm represents a dozen of the most recognizable environmental nonprofits in the nation. This board is just one of more than ten boards he is a member of. Recognized as a brilliant thinker, Dan is a voracious reader of science and technology journals providing him an informed opinion in a vast array of technical subjects.

As a lawyer Dan always has the final say on official opinion and enjoys the mantel of devil’s advocate. He has become the ring leader of the board. Many times during past board meetings he has spoken about his crazy Uzbekistan clients that he had to entertain. While ordering a glass of vodka, Dan makes another reference to drinking vodka with a couple of friends in Moscow. I finally decide to ask Dan what the hell he was doing in Russia and with that Dan revealed his early work in the law firm before he was partner.

Apparently his law firm was hired by the newly formed Uzbekistan government after the fall of Russia to negotiate leasing of the oil and mineral resources of the county to western investors. The firm’s senior partners were experienced in the land title issues but needed someone with an environmental background to work through the regulatory requirements. So as a budding attorney, Dan volunteered to head to Russia and learn international environmental law. As Dan is explaining the complicated process of working during the formation of the new government, I suggest that the environmental regulations were probably lax during those early days. To my surprise Dan says that since the government was being formed they allowed the first environmental laws to be write by University professors and as a result the newly written laws were so of the most restrictive and complicated in the world. Under Uzbekistan law any lease holders were liable for all past environmental sins and were required to correct them. Since the overriding environmental mitigation was so costly that no one would be able to sign the lease agreements. Dan would work with the government to structure very complicated leases which would manage some environmental restoration early, but the more onerous restoration would be tied to future lease revenues.

His stories are filled with the colorful wild characters, wide open emergence of organized crime, shady backdoor agreements and a party like Wild West frontier. As the stories flow I take the opportunity to sit back a look at the group around the table, each individual an accomplished passionate professional in the peak of their career. Each one a wealth of knowledge and experience, each one an inspiration. Collectively, they are a group which is capable of changing the course of history. I am privileged and honored, if not a little intimidated to be a part of this group of friends. Knowing that these moments of true inspiration are fleeting, I drink in the joviality and friendship while sitting around a roaring fireplace in a beautiful restaurant while the snow blows past the windows. In a few days we will be once again scattered to the four corners of the world, experiencing new stories to share the next time we meet. Until we meet again I shall reach repeatedly into this cradle of inspiration.

"Leadership can be thought of as a capacity to define oneself to others in a way that clarifies and expands a vision of the future."

Edwin H. Friedman

The Blackness of Gravity

A Perfect Storm of Turbulent Gases in the Omega-Swan Nebula, Photo by NASA

“Gravitation is a natural phenomenon and one of the fundamental forces by which all objects with mass attract each other. In everyday life, gravitation is most commonly thought of as the agency that gives objects weight. It is responsible for keeping the Earth and the other planets in their orbits around the Sun; for keeping the Moon in its orbit around the Earth, for the formation of tides; for convection (by which hot fluids rise); for heating the interiors of forming stars and planets to very high temperatures; and for various other phenomena that we observe. Gravitation is also the reason for the very existence of the Earth, the Sun, and most macroscopic objects in the universe; without it, matter would not have coalesced into these large masses and life, as we know it, would not exist.” (Wikipedia, 2008)

Beyond a critical point within a finite space, freedom diminishes as numbers increase. ...The human question is not how many can possibly survive within the system, but what kind of existence is possible for those who do survive.

Frank Herbert (1920 - 1986), Dune

The kinematical and dynamical equations describing the trajectories of falling bodies are considerably simpler if the gravitational force is assumed constant but bodies never fall in unison. This theory is useful to explain the dilemma we all face in the search for happiness and spiritual balance. Humans by their nature, encoded deep into their being are solitary souls that preserve a secret world of existence that is inaccessible to all. I call this the secret garden where we sequester our hopes, fears, desires, and the inner realm of our dreams. Over the course of a life we allow precious few to glimpse past the door of the garden. All of us float in isolation in space subject to the attractive or repulsive forces of gravity. Our family, friends, relatives, mentors and strangers all exert the force of gravitation on us to varing degree. In thermodynamics the closer two bodies are the greater the gravitational bond, although this might not be the case with spiritual influences.

As the gravitational pull grows within the closest of relationships an elliptical orbit is established which represents a balance of energy for a small moment in time. We find our selves falling into comfortable orbits that may or may not allow the individual to nourish and tend the secret garden. As relationships build and families grow the gravitational forces change and shift, creating new orbits some of which are closer, others than travel further from the nucleus. It’s most important to realize that at any moment in time everything is in constant motion and dynamically changing. Each new experience, each new acquaintance, each new flower in the secret garden changes the balance of gravitational forces in our lives. Relationships in order to survive must allow orbits to change and seek new balances. Excessively close orbits can implode and collapse like a black star, consuming all light and energy, destroying both bodies. These orbits are inherently unstable and destructive, but the pull of gravitational forces appears too great to overcome creating a death spiral in the secret garden as the blackness of gravity blinds us.

The Aristotelian theory of gravity was a theory that stated that all bodies move towards their natural place. For some objects, Aristotle claimed the natural place to be the center of the earth, wherefore they fall towards it. For other objects, the natural place is the heavenly spheres, wherefore gases, steam for example, move away from the centre of the earth and towards heaven and to the moon. I like to think that all bodies move towards their natural place eventually overcoming the influences of gravitational forces that traps us into artificial or obsolete orbits. Therefore is becomes our primary challenge to find our natural place where the secret garden flourishes. We must always be moving toward finding the natural place regardless of the consequences, because denial of this state of balance is spiritual destruction and emotional bankruptcy. In this balance a new series of orbits will be established that foster personal growth and fulfillment.

This explanation oversimplifies the inherent contradictions in life which is the duality of existence. Gravitational forces are just one example of the duality of life, being pulled in two directions by opposing forces. We all seek to balance between opposing forces in seeking happiness. Yet it must be understood that happiness is illusionary always fleeting and can not be guaranteed without constant toil and mental exertion. Each of us must always tend the secret garden, unending in our journey to find those precious few souls which we can allow for a moment in time a glimpse past the door into the garden. Over the years, I have become comfortable with the duality of life, since most of my existence is bifurcated by travel, a constant state of disconnection. Acceptance of the duality of life in seeking our natural place, our balance, while always in motion and changing is the essence of spirituality and emotional bliss.

Many religions embrace the struggle in finding balance in the duality of life. Hinduism seeks enlightenment through the acceptance of Advaita or the concept of oneness with the duality of life. Advaita (a+dvaita = non-duality) simply means that the Source, by whatever name known - Primal Energy, Consciousness, Awareness, Plenitude, God - is Unicity, Oneness, Non-duality. The manifestation that arises or emerges from the Source is based on duality, the inevitable existence of interconnected opposites: male and female, beauty and ugliness, good and evil. At any moment there are bound to be interconnected opposites. The sage accepts the duality that is the basis of life and is anchored in peace and tranquility while facing the pleasures and pains of life exactly like the ordinary person. The ordinary person does not accept the duality, the existence of interconnected opposites at any moment of life, chooses between them and is unhappy.

In the teachings of the Yoga of Devotion Retreats, the sage accepts the 'duality' of life; the ordinary person chooses between the interconnected opposites, and lives in the unhappiness of 'dualism'. The man of understanding certainly sees preferences being made in daily living between the polaric opposites, but is totally aware of the fact that the preferences happen according to the individual programming in each case, and are not made by any individual person doing the preference. The man of understanding is, therefore, always in tune with the Source or in balance with gravitational forces. When the final flash of total understanding happens, it is not at all unlikely for the individual to realize the unbroken wholeness of the universe and to clearly see the whole range of polaric opposites as a great illusion or a play of a feigned quarrel between lovers.

Another source of insight and inspiration on the challenge of duality is from a chapter in the book 'The Tao of Physics'. A basic conjecture in Tao, the Chinese philosophy is that there is an underlying equilibrium of two opposing forces in nature. The Chinese call these the yang and the yin. The yang symbolizes the masculine nature of reality, the rational, calculating, analyzing side; whereas the yin represents the feminine, the more sensitive, delicate, conscious side of things. Chinese believe that all human life is interplay between these two forces, and equilibrium is desired between the two for a smooth functioning of things.

This duality is not only seen in human nature, but also in all things in life. Every aspect of life has this dual nature, or rather everything has these seemingly opposite extremes to itself. Good-evil, success-failure, life-death, expansion-contraction, up-down, positive-negative are all examples of these opposites. The greatness of Tao and Hindu philosophies lies not in the realization of this duality of things, but in overcoming the so-called opposite natures of the duality, and realizing the underlying unity in them. It is the art of seeing good in evil or success in failure and living between the lines in harmony.

The duality of life is most prominently in conflict between our inner secret garden and the world around us which requires allegiance and strict codes of behavior. Whereas our dreams, hopes and desires more often lead us into an orbit which is in conflict with the gravitational forces that are pulling us in another direction. It is the inability to escape artificial or obsolete orbits which fuels conflicted emotions and ultimately creates greater and greater instability as one suppresses the need to seek the natural space of self actualization. Living to sustain another’s orbit is not living at all, its indentured servitude of a life denied.

In the early 20th century, Sigmund Freud attempted to define the duality of the human mind with the psychoanalytic model of the id, ego, and superego. Freud posited a structural model of the mind in which these three parts interacted and wrestled with each other for dominance; the result of this constant struggle is the whole of each human's behavior. The gravitational forces that we place upon ourselves are also in constant motion, ebbing and flowing attempting to seek a natural balance. Any state of emotional equilibrium is fleeting as we grapple with new thoughts and experiences.

The term id is derived from Latin meaning inner desire and is dominated by the pleasure principle standing in direct opposition to the super-ego. “The id is responsible for our basic drives such as food, sex, and aggressive impulses. It is amoral and egocentric, ruled by the pleasure–pain principle; it is without a sense of time, completely illogical, primarily sexual, infantile in its emotional development, and will not take "no" for an answer. It is regarded as the reservoir of the libido or "love energy".”

The super-ego tends to stand in opposition to the desires of the id and acts as the conscience, maintaining our sense of morality and the prohibition of taboos. Freud's theory implies that the super-ego is a symbolic internalization of the father figure and cultural regulations. Fractured relationships with one’s father can manifest itself in an over compensation of the super-ego at the expense of the id or keeper of the secret garden.

“The ego is the mediator between the id and the superego; trying to ensure that the needs of both the id and the superego are met. It is said to operate on a reality principle, meaning it deals with the id and the superego; allowing them to express their desires, drives and morals in realistic and socially appropriate ways. It is said that the ego stands for reason and caution, developing with age.”

“When the ego is personified, it is like a slave to three harsh masters: the id, the super-ego and the external world. It has to do its best to suit all three, thus is constantly feeling hemmed by the danger of causing discontent on two other sides. It is said however, that the ego seems to be more loyal to the id, preferring to gloss over the finer details of reality to minimize conflicts while pretending to have a regard for reality. But the super-ego is constantly watching every one of the ego's moves and punishes it with feelings of guilt, anxiety, and inferiority. To overcome this, this ego employs methods of defense mechanism. Denial, displacement, intellectualization, fantasy, compensation, projection, rationalization, reaction formation, regression, repression and sublimation were the defense mechanisms Freud identified.”

As we struggle to seek a natural state of balance it is easy to see how both internal and external forces can create conflicted emotions which can paralyze an individual, manifesting into feelings of helplessness, confusion and conflict ultimately laying the foundation for depression. All of us must embrace the duality of life recognizing that some actions of self survival may be viewed as instability in the orbits surrounding us. Acceptance of the duality of opposing forces allows us to embrace adjustments in our orbit by the ones that love us the most, for it is a principal of natural law that no orbit can remain static or fixed. As a result no one should expect to keep someone confined to an orbit that is in conflict with the natural place of self balance.

Outlining a framework for happiness is the easy part, actually finding and maintaining that natural state of grace is a life long pursuit, a journey without end that will take us to places unimagined. We should not fear where the attractive forces of nature may take us as long as it toward balance where the secret garden flourishes and dreams are realized. I have found that taking my hands off the wheel, eliminating the desire to steer and manage gravity, is the most empowering feeling of all. Seek out whose individuals who make the garden grow, allow the gravitational forces of attraction to move you to your natural place or otherwise fall into the blackness of gravity.

The great majority of us are required to live a life of constant, systematic duplicity. Your health is bound to be affected if, day after day, you say the opposite of what you feel, if you grovel before what you dislike and rejoice at what bring you nothing but misfortune. Our nervous system isn't just a fiction, it's part of our physical body, and our soul exists in space and is inside us, like teeth in our mouth. It can't be forever violated with impunity.

Boris Pasternak (1890 - 1960), Doctor Zhivago

In the space which thought creates around itself there is no love. This space divides man from man, and in it is all the becoming, the battle of life, the agony and fear. Meditation is the ending of this space, the ending of the me.

Krishnamurti

Propitiation of Faith in the Blood of the Innocent

There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re sayin.
When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I can’t explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

Pink Floyd

“Suffering is one very long moment. We cannot divide it by seasons.”

Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)

In the silent darkness of the heart of the night my soul searches for strength to face the spilling blood of the innocent. Do the origins of faith reside in the uncertainties and cruelty of destiny? Is the path to spirituality and acceptance of the inequalities inherent in life found by the trial of fire and pain? Does atonement seek the path of least resistance in the suffering of those most innocent? How do I ebb the rising anger in my soul which consumes my flesh and clouds my mind like a vile poison? It would be easy to steel my emotions and allow my thoughts to drift to the blackness, a world without hope, a life without compassion, an eternity of isolation where pain is held at bay. What justice can be found in the continued torment and suffering of those pure in heart, those who represent the light of the world? I can not understand what lesson is to be learned from the spilling of the blood of those live with the grace of angels, those that have changed so many lives, those that embody all that are good and kind, those that have already suffered intolerable trials of spirit.

Once again the storm clouds of uncertainty approach as I look to the horizon, indifferent to those who stand in the path of fury. After six weeks of wistful calm a second medical opinion casts a shadow of doubt over us once again. A new series of tests on my wife’s mysterious black mass had resulted in another more ominous conclusion of cancer. As if all previous trials of suffering were unable to shake my wife’s unyielding positive view of life, this diagnostic message was targeted at the most consuming fear of all, a long painful and undignified death. Unlike all other tests of faith, she collapsed into a deep depression unable to confront the possibilities of what this might mean. It has been a difficult personal journey concealing our burden from all as we wait for the fog of uncertainty to clear revealing the invariability of the path before us. Standing in the shadow of the future we hold our breath wondering if it is possible that the propitiation of faith will cheat death from its ultimate reward and prevent the spilling of the blood of the innocent.

“You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering.”

Henri-Frédéric Amiel


What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be not forever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
Grief not, rather find,
Strength in what remains behind,
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be,
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of Human suffering,
In the faith that looks through death
In years that bring philophic mind.

William Wordsworth (1770 - 1850)

Secret Garden

Caines, Australia Photo by Mr. Blue

"Shell let you in her house

If you come knockin late at night

Shell let you in her mouth

If the words you say are right

If you pay the price

Shell let you deep inside

But theres a secret garden she hides

Shell let you in her car

To go drivin round

Shell let you into the parts of herself

Thatll bring you down

Shell let you in her heart

If you got a hammer and a vise

But into her secret garden, dont think twice

Youve gone a million miles

How fard you get

To that place where you cant remember

And you cant forget

Shell lead you down a path

Therell be tenderness in the air

Shell let you come just far enough

So you know shes really there

Shell look at you and smile

And her eyes will say

Shes got a secret garden

Where everything you want

Where everything you need

Will always stayA million miles away"

Bruce Springsteen

A Dream Within A Dream

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow--
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand--
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

Edgar Allan Poe

Saprophytes and the Decline of the Empire

Sap•ro•phyte: noun (Origin: 1870–75) any plant that depends on dead plant or animal tissue for a source of nutrition and metabolic energy. Most saprophytes do not produce chlorophyll and therefore do not photosynthesize; they are thus dependent on the food energy they absorb from the decaying tissues.

“Strange new problems are being reported in the growing generations of children whose mothers were always there, driving them around, helping them with their homework - an inability to endure pain or discipline or pursue any self-sustained goal of any sort, a devastating boredom with life.”

Betty Friedan (1921 - 2006)

Every generation has expressed concern with the judgment and commitment of the succeeding generation. The process highlights the gradual evolution of societal values and changes in social morals. I struggle to gauge my opinions against this historical experience of the elder generation, but after considerable personal debate, I think something is fundamentally wrong with the future of the empire. Throughout history succeeding generations have wrested the mantle of leadership by sweat, blood and physical endurance. The continued growth of the empire has always survived and prospered on the strong backs and minds of its youth. Exertion and determination has historically forged the values of the nation’s youth into a collective commitment of success. In our society has always encompassed a range of classes from the overachievers to the underachievers. Capitalism tends to polarize society into the haves and have not’s which has served to illustrate by example the perils of underachievement. Never before has underachievement represented such a majority opinion in the succeeding generation. The current direction of the next generation alarms me over the rapid decline of the once great empire.

Look around the signs of decline and decay is overwhelmingly oblivious. Take your pick of the seven deadly sins lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, anger, envy or vanity which infests our youth of society. To differing extends all of these traits are engrained in our youth coated with a thick patina of apathy. The next generation has assumed the role of saprophytes in the ecology of our society. Saprophytes produce nothing of value but only exist on feeding off the decaying efforts of other plants.

The origin of the decline rests with the do no harm parenting approach and continuous pampering of what I call the marginal generation. Every aspect of daily life is filled with praise and supportive nurturing regardless of the meaninglessness of the activity which provides such a smothering environment of regressive development and emotional dependancy. Attending every baseball or soccer game, mommy is present ever vigilant to treat any emotional distress as dependence on social support is engrained while stifling motivation as every need is met in overabundance. Excessive coddling has manifested itself in an entitlement mentality which is pervasive in society. It’s not my fault that I murdered someone; it was the fault of my abusive family environment which never bought me the newest computer games. Who ever said life was going to be perfect?

Showered with closets overflowing with the newest toys which are objects of interest for a few minutes, they sit in front of the television being trained in a life of consumerism. The process of selling has been so refined and instilled in our culture it is considered a recreational activity. Our youth now makes life decisions purely to support their need for consumer gratification. However this quest for the finer things in life is not focused into dedication and hard work, but rather in ingenious plans to obtain fame and fortune by entitlement and laziness. Large percentages of college graduates, if they graduate at all, move back home so they can live off their parents in order to support an excessive lifestyle of new cars and designer clothing. Increasing percentages of college graduates have never held a job by the time they graduate from college supported only by mom, dad and the student loan program. Ask most first year students why they chose the program their enrolled in and the answer overwhelmingly is it where I can make the most money and get rich. How can you ever succeed in life without a burning desire beyond holding out until payday? Our future is going to be disastrous fueled by an entire generation who refuses to invest but expects wealth to be given as an entitlement. How many malpractice attorneys does the world need? Talk about a monumental wave of midlife crisis covering a large number of the population, when the realization that nothing is given when nothing is earned.

The implications for society are abysmal when we look at the shift from social networks to virtual networks. Social skills are developed with constant interaction with people of all ages, not by being cooped up in mom’s basement playing video games for seven hours a day. We are creating a generation of social minimalists that only feel comfortable in the virtual worlds of gratuitous violence. We wonder why the dramatic increase of schoolyard killing has the education system in a panic. What can you expect from teenagers who spent all their spare time acting out ritual violence in isolation with blunted social skills? This has resulted in one of the lowest professional and public participation rates by youth in history. Why value contributing to society when most is your waking day is seeking fulfillment of self absorbed gratification. It is truly all about me and what will be given to me. All of this activity is reinforced with submissive parenting skills.

It’s interesting that youth is waiting longer and longer before getting married and committing to lifelong relationships. Their answer is wrapped up in an elaborate explanation of personal growth and discovery. Bullshit, I think that they are so self absorbed that they don’t want anyone playing with their stuff. Why should I have to share responsibility for someone else’s needs? That diminishes the time I can spend on myself. Instead, the marginal generation has created this new deeply emotional relationship called friends with benefits. In other words we can have sex with no emotional attachment, but don’t expect a birthday card because it would distract me from my self worship. I know of children who are a result of this wonderful relationship. Just imagine the conversation when the child gets older and wants to know about his mom. “Well I never really knew any thing about her except that after six shots of Jack we would crawl in the back of her car and fuck.” Friends with benefits are really a form of masturbation. Getting tired of screwing your girlfriend in your parent’s bed because your knapsack in the basement just isn’t GQ enough, no problem tossed the bitch like a rash and move on to the next.

The minimal generation is a walking poster child for the seven deadly sins. Which deadly sin should we focus on next? Why not focus on vanity? The fact cosmetic surgery centers are being filled with large numbers of teenage girls spending grandma’s birthday money on beast augmentation in order to fit in with the crowd. A female breast won’t even mature for another decade, why mutilate a body for a temporary mental insecurity which is part of growing up? The dependency on physical appearance is a result of consumerism exorcizing our basis insecurities. What about gluttony? I have to admit that the minimal generation doesn’t maintain sole domain over this sin. Thirty percent of the population is now classified as obese. Food is the perfect consumer product for a self absorbed population. Just think about it. It’s sold and consumed in a matter of minutes and has a short shelf life so that the industry is in constantly replenishing the supply in a never ending process of converting their product into compost.

Our consumer economy has cultivated the sin of envy to a status symbol. Why can’t I drive a Lexus or BWM like my next door neighbor? Children are trained from the earliest moments of life to envy someone who has more possessions or the newest gadget. We are driven to envy the lifestyle we don’t possess. The jeans we wear, the bourbon we drink, 600 count Egyptian cotton sheets we sleep in, the toasters we buy, all are driven at a fundamental level by consumer envy. Cities are blanketed with huge billboards of beautiful men and women whose illusionary lifestyle beckons you to envy them; maybe you can become part of their world if you would only drink the same bourbon. The best way to join that class of social billboard elite is if you drink the same bourbon, lose two hundred pounds, have a facelift and buy a winning lottery number.

The empire has experienced an unprecedented period of prosperity for over two decades. Many segments of society have never experienced an economic downturn, leaving them unprepared to accept a lifestyle aligned with their contribution to society, his is especially true for the minimal generation. I have little sympathy for those who have lived beyond their means and are now in financial collapse because of living on other people’s money. Like a bruise is the outward expression of an internal hemorrhage, our society is hemorrhaging from the inside out. Hard times which will test the will of a nation are ahead. We can recognize this decay and act to change society or take the lead of the minimal generation and head back down to the basement, crawl into an electronic game and masturbate until the power goes off.

“Civilization is the distance man has placed between himself and his excreta.”

Brian Aldiss

“We live in a time of transition, an uneasy era which is likely to endure for the rest of this century. During the period we may be tempted to abandon some of the time-honored principles and commitments which have been proven during the difficult times of past generations. We must never yield to this temptation. Our American values are not luxuries, but necessities - not the salt in our bread, but the bread itself. “

Jimmy Carter (1924 - )

Wild Nights

Pacific Ocean off Baranof Island, Alaska 2007 Photo by Mr. Blue

WILD nights! Wild nights!
Were I with thee,
Wild nights should be
Our luxury!

Futile the winds
To a heart in port,—
Done with the compass,
Done with the chart.

Rowing in Eden!
Ah! the sea!
Might I but moor
To-night in thee!

Emily Dickinson (1830–86)

The Green Wave: Sink or Swim

“The goal of life is living in agreement with nature.”

Zeno (335 BC-264 BC)

Sustainability is on the minds of every industry as the green movement has reached a critical mass. In the short time frame of fifteen years, green architecture and sustainable technologies have evolved from a radical fringe of ardent supporters to a generally accepted public mandate that is revolutionizing the entire world economy. Below the surface is a monumental shift in corporate thinking which is refining this brave new green world. Every industry will be challenged to make the shift to a new paradigm in order to prosper or even survive. The landscape and nursery industry has always been in the center of the green movement, but is not generally perceived as a leader which consistently brings innovation to the table. There can be no denying the magnitude of the sustainability movement as it becomes increasing codified in our daily life. The time is fast approaching for the landscape and nursery industry to assess its future and decide to either sink or swim in the mounting green wave. The commitment to become leaders in the sustainability movement will require dedication and innovation from both individual businesses as well as trade organizations.

The first question that arises is “what does it mean to be green?” Unfortunately, there are no publicly established policies or guidelines which are definitive, but rather a series of sometimes vague and confusing principals. Being green is easiest described as a way of thinking, in that every action shall do no wrong or diminish the earth’s resources for future generations. The difficult part is that every industry will be required to define these sustainable principals for their specific industry. Be assured that this process will not be simple and the rules will constantly change, but every industry will struggle in defining its role in the new green economy.

The origins of this green tidal wave can be traced back to a single document. In 1992, the City of Hanover, Germany hired architect William McDonough to craft a series of environmental principals to guide architects and planners in the development of exhibits for the 2000 World Expo to be held in Hanover. This short list of environmental goals came to be known as the Hanover Principals. Although over the years these sustainable principals have been expanded, interpreted, defined and debated, they are still the fundamental foundation of the sustainability movement.

As other industries begin to define their role in sustainability, they contribute useful tools which can help the landscape and nursery industry to find its way. Places to look for current thinking and valuable information include the United States Green Building Council (USGBC) www.usgbc.org, which has established the Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design (LEED) green building rating system. The American Society of Landscape Architects (ASLA) www.asla.org has established a strategic partnership with a number of environmental organizations called the Sustainable Site Initiative www.sustainablesites.org to establish a green site rating system for individual sites. There are a number of organizations such as “Cradle to Cradle Certification” www.mbdc.com/certified.html, which helps customers purchase and specify products that are pursuing a broader definition of quality environmentally-intelligent design. Industry specific guides are emerging such as the Certified Forest Products Council (CFPC) www.certifiedwood.org which provides information about sustainable forestry, and includes a directory of sustainably harvested lumber.

Although these organizations provide some insight in how sustainability is interrupted by other associations, none of the documents will address in detail the needs for the landscape and nursery industry. This will come from within the industry as we begin to look critically at the opportunities for changing traditional practices and replacing them with more environmentally friendly business practices. The initial areas for consideration are easy to identify such as business practices that negatively impact air quality, water quality, biodiversity and consumption of natural resources. Let’s look at each of these four simple opportunities in more detail as they might relate to traditional industry practices, knowing that there are dozens of other subjects that should be considered in mainstreaming sustainability into every aspect of the landscape and nursery industry.

Air Quality

With the emissions from operating and refueling of landscape equipment, vehicles have a significant impact on air quality. Small gasoline-powered engines often produce much greater levels of pollution than that of a full sized car per hour of operation. The estimates can be as much as 1000 times more emissions are produced from small gasoline-powered engines. When these engines are mistuned, or run without air filters, measurements show as much as 50% of the fuel exhausted as unburned hydrocarbons. The EPA estimates that as much as 5% of urban air pollution can be linked to their usage. Considering the entire carbon footprint of the landscape and nursery industry, the consequences are significant.

A sustainable approach would minimize air pollution by investing in hybrid or fossil free vehicle fleets as well as a mileage optimization on how those fleets are deployed each day. Small gas-powered engines can be replaced with electric powered equipment. While electric still has environmental impacts primarily in the manufacturing process, the total embodied energy used during the equipment’s life cycle cost is much less. The most environmentally friendly grounds maintenance equipment is human powered which does not rely on a power source. I believe there could be an emerging niche in the market for a premium priced high sustainability ground maintenance service.

Water Quality

The landscape and nursery industry applies a vast amount of chemical based pesticides and fertilizers which, even with the best management practices, are subject to leaching into stream ways and water courses. While monumental progress has been made in training grounds staff in the proper calibration and application of the chemicals, it does illustrate the industry’s reliance on preventative chemical use instead of prescriptive treatment of diseases. An enlightened chemical approach which reduces generic broad based preventative treatments in favor of selective targeted solutions would shift the chemical industry’s investment toward development of new softer solutions. A serious discussion in the landscape industry needs to challenge the reliance on traditional chemical approaches and foster greater acceptance of ecological based approaches.

The greatest impact the landscape and nursery industry has on water quality is in the management of construction activities through the primary responsibility for erosion control. Our experience indicates the landscape industry is only marginally engaged in erosion control. No other trade has a greater opportunity to express leadership in managing water quality during site grading and establishment of vegetation. This industry should be the foremost advocate and expert in site erosion control implementation. Accepting responsibility for the site can expand revenues for forward thinking companies.

With the increased development of suburban areas, more frequent and pronounced flooding has occured. This not only results in erosion, stream pollution, and destruction of aquatic habitat, but tremendous property damage and loss of human lives. Several compelling best management practices exist that the industry can use to help to reduce flooding and reuse a precious natural resource. These stormwater based solutions such as rain harvesting, rain gardens, green roofs and bioswales, while not new have garnered a new wave of public interest. The best thing about these stormwater technologies is that they easily fall into the traditional market of the industry. A concerted effort in promoting integrated stormwater solutions within the industry would represent another leadership position the industry could assume.

Declining Biodiversity

The world's biodiversity is declining at an unprecedented rate, with current extinction rates that are at least 900 times higher than natural rates found in the fossil record. Over 15,000 plant and animal species are now considered at risk of extinction representing an increase of 3,330 species since 2003. The landscape and nursery industry may contribute more to declining biodiversity than it does in preventing it. Consider the impacts of introduction of invasive plants into the landscape, clearing land, establishment of lawns, planting too few species that benefit wildlife, overuse of pesticides and dominant use of limited varieties of plants like Bradford pears and junipers.

When non-native plants "escape" from our landscape and take over natural areas they choke out the wide variety of native plants on which wildlife depends. Our desire for large lawn lots results in significant clearance of natural areas which fragments wildlife habitat. While less than 10% of all insects are harmful to plants, most pesticides are harmful or lethal to all insects. The industry maintains a dominant focus on horticultural planting strategies instead of advocating more complex ecological based plantings. We have become our own worst enemy in perpetuating traditional solutions as the basis of most designs.

A dramatic shift in conventional thinking is necessary to address sustainability in the core of the landscape and nursery industry. The industry needs to develop viable solutions to lawns and corporate landscapes in favor of diverse ecological natural communities which value biodiversity. We need to shift the basis of the green economy from low skilled lawn maintenance labor to more technically knowledgeable resource managers. Along with this paradigm shift comes increased market value and revenue opportunities. The need for biodiversity can be a catalyst in reforming traditional practices into a sustainable future.

Consumption of Natural Resources

The world only has a limited supply of natural resources and consumption rates are increasing. The United States is the world's largest consumer in absolute terms for many resources, eleven of the top twenty. Opportunities for using less are limitless when we look at our consumer economy. Principles for reducing consumption of natural resources can be applied to every aspect of business when you look at areas like packaging, recycling, specifying locally produced goods and use of low environmental impact materials.

Looking specifically at the landscape and nursery industry, specific opportunities emerge when we focus on business operations such as reducing fuel for landscape equipment, conserving water when irrigating plants, mitigating soil lost through erosion and eliminating peat moss or other harvested organic materials to amend soils. The green industry is indirectly responsible for 30% of water consumption in urban areas in the eastern United States for watering lawns, and in the West this figure is 60%. Guidelines for reduction or elimination of irrigation water are commonly available, but the environmental ethics need to be embraced by the entire industry. The green industry can be a powerful advocate in promoting sustainable solutions.

The world is shifting towards an environmental paradigm which fundamentally changes how we conduct every aspect of our lives. This green wave of change is upon us and it is our decision to sink or swim. We can allow the wave to overwhelm the industry or we can choose to participate as leaders riding the wave to a prosperous future of limitless opportunities. The future will be best defined for our industry internally by creative, innovative professions who have a passion for environmental change and civic commitment. By embracing the challenges to redefine our businesses practices at the most basis levels the industry will be guaranteed a meaningful front row seat in the new green economy. There is a lot of work to be done and a short amount of time available, so let’s get started in building a new green foundation for the future.

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Poutine, Pernot & Poussé

Notre Dame Cathedral, Montreal, Quebec, Canada, 2007. Photo by Mr. Blue

“The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand.”

Frank Herbert (1920-1986)

The sounds of the calèche or horse-drawn carriages echo on narrow cobblestone streets, flanked by 18th- and 19th-century greystone buildings as I watch the snow swirl and dance on the sidewalk. December has brought me to Old Montreal for a board meeting. Our hotel is a delightful historic stone structure over 200 years old, which is considered by Conde Naste as the finest hotel in Canada and I have found no reason to disagree. The holiday spirit fills the air as Christmas decorations adorn the restaurants beckoning to come in and sit by the warm fire to indulge in the exquisite French cuisine. Montreal is the world’s second-largest French-speaking city but is also a melting pot of cultures from around the world, as its mosaic of neighborhoods and diversity of restaurants fill Old Town.

As I walk along the St. Lawrence River waterfront under a long allee of snow covered trees, I am following in the footsteps of Jacques Cartier, who became the first European to reach the area now known as Montreal in 1535 when he entered Island of Montreal while in search of the Northwest Passage and gold. Montreal was named for the Island of Montreal, which in turn was named for Mount Royal a mountain, immediately north of downtown Montreal. As I turn my back to the river the historic facades of Old Montreal frame the dome of the Gothic Revival Notre-Dame basilica which is renowned for the dazzling opulence of its interior. Within an hour I’m completely at home in this beautiful city which is as close to being in Europe as you can find on the North American continent.

Half of our board members are Canadians, who are intent in sharing every aspect of Montreal culture, which makes the stay even more special. Our first new delight was traveling across town to have lunch at the finest Poutine restaurant in Montreal. None on the Canadians would explain what Poutine was as we huddled in the cab. All they would say in that you can’t adequately describe Poutine, it needs to me experienced. A few of the more fussy Americans are concerned when they could not discover the origin of Poutine. In preparation for not partaking in this mystery food, one board member states “I just want you to know there are things I will not eat.”

Curious the Canadian guide begins to prompt the board member on what types of food are off the list?

“Well I don’t eat any type of animal organs.”

Everyone stuffed in the cab breaks out into laughter as the Canadian responds “By God what type of barbarians are you Americans?”

The cab pulls up to a small nondescript small lunch counter in a blue collar neighborhood as we pour out of the backseat and head inside. The interior resembles an old dinner with chrome 1950 style tables and chairs. Everyone inside has the same large dish of Poutine in front of them along with a coke. Poutine is a French-Canadian food that slightly resembles American Gravy Cheese Fries (Uuukkkk), but is actually very, very different in many respects. Poutine is readily-available across Canada, but as locals say it only really tastes good in French Quebec.

According to legend Warwick Quebec is the place where Poutine was invented back in 1957 by restaurateur Fernand Lachance, who died leaving not only his calorific imprint but also some serious questions about the low-carb fuss. Poutine is Acadian slang for mushy mess and is best described as a heart attack in a bowl. By the way, there is a proper way to pronounce poutine, and it's not 'poo-teen'. The phonetic pronunciation is 'peu-tin', which always elicits a vacant stare when one orders it using that word.

The French Fries - The potatos must be hand-cut and very fresh. Fast-food-type fries will not taste quite as good. Also, you must fry the potatoes in pure lard. Vegetable oil and other politically-correct oils spoil the unique taste.

The Gravy - French-Canadian gravy (also known as BBQ Chicken Gravy) is very different than American gravy. First of all, it is very dark and thick, like molasses. Secondly, it has a very flavorful taste which cannot be described...very much like pepper and vinegar and other 'magical' ingredients. Apparently if you can stand a spoon straight up in it, it's good!

The Cheese - The cheese is the most important part of good Poutine. You must use fresh white, cheddar cheese curds. These curds have a taste and texture very different than actual cheddar cheese. The cheese curds actually squeak in your teeth as you bite them.

Traditional Montreal Poutine

The overflowing plates of Poutine arrived at the table without ceremony. Poutine is a French Canadian equivalent of comfort food for a winter day. It was a delightful treat, but I’m not sure I’ll need to experience Poutine again anytime soon as it was almost impossible to finish the excessively oversized portions. I did notice that the fussy Americans seemed to like the Poutine the best while constantly asking “No really what is cheese curds made from?”

The following night for dinner we were treated to one of the top 10 restaurants in Canada which specialized Portuguese Italian fusion food. The restaurant was in a nondescript trendy urban neighborhood which had a lot of street life. The interior of the restaurant was very euro clique and only seated about thirty people. Our crowd of eighteen completely took over the restaurant as we joked with the owner. We allowed the owner to serve us anything he wanted as the plates of incredible food rolled out of the kitchen. There was grilled octopus in a wonderful rich smoky lentil stew, grilled whole squid marinated in olive oil and vinegar, smoked spicy Chorizo sausage, plates of cheese and grilled vegetables, tender lamb shanks in a lemon reduction, cubed pork with clams in a spicy tomato sauce, tiger prawns and scallops. This type of gourmet dining is the standard reward for donating time all year to the organization and the group was reveling in the hospitality, friendship and food. We spend the entire time in the restaurant in a ruckus debate of the differences between Canadian and American culture. “Ya know what I mean, eh?”

Our Canadian guide finally leaned over to me and said “Let me order you an after dinner drink, something I only drink here in Quebec.”

A short time later the owner brings two glasses of ice and two small beakers of a clear liquid. As he pours the clear liquid over the glass of ice it turns cloudy with a pale lime green tint. My guide holds his glass up in a toast and whispers “Pernod, my friend. Remember I graduated from McGill University just down the road here in Montreal and it’s my tradition for you.” As I sipped the Pernod , the leading characteristic was a licorice flavor, which is produced with anise.

According to the Pernod Company, “We owe this elixir to "Docteur Ordinaire", a French doctor in exile in Switzerland. In 1805, the Pernod Fils Company from Pontarlier in France began distilling the secret formula. From 1830 on, artists took to this elixir in the cafés of Paris. "Green fairy" to artists and poets seeking new pleasures, absinthe became one of the strongest symbols of its era with its enigmatic color and the ritual surrounding it. It is sublimated in the works of Verlaine, Rimbaud, Baudelaire, Oscar Wilde, Manet, Toulouse-Lautrec, and later Picasso.”

Seduction by The Green Fairy (cira 1885)

With the new temperance movement growing around the world at the turn of the century, many prominent French politicians and scientists turned their interest to France's new, most popular alcoholic beverage: absinthe. Absinthe was the subject of much stormy, impassioned debate, and was banned in 1915 in France. Today, with the legalization of Thujone and Absinth Wormwood in alcoholic beverages in the European Union, the Pernod Company has attempted to recreate what they thought would be the new Pernod-Fils absinthe.

Once we began drinking Pernod there was no stopping the group. The “Green Fairy” took control as we laughed and carried on until after 1:00 am. I one point I think I actually began speaking French. Since it was the last night the group was going to be together we decided to stop at a bar across the street from the hotel, for one final Pernod.

Outside the bar there was a steep series of steps leading to the door. I became accustom to the collection of young women hanging outside the bar door since smoking was banned in all buildings. As we passed the girls I reached for the door and pulled it. It can’t be closed there are a number of people visible from the windows, so I pulled harder assuming it was stuck. All of a sudden I hear the girls next to me giggle and start saying “Pussy, pussy, Monsieur.” Each time they repeated it then would once again begin giggling at us. I thought to myself that the women are quite accommodating here in Montreal, embarrassed to look for fear they might be serious. I smile and utter “Yes, Yes very nice, Mademoiselle.” It this response they all broke into laughter as one of the girls reaches over and points at a small sign above the door which says “Poussé” It only takes a second for my high school French to kick in as I translate the word as “Push” in English. I guess I’ve had enough of the Green Fairy and turn away from the door explaining to the young women that if we are unable to enter the bar on our own we should call it a night. As I say goodbye to the group, I can’t wait to return to this delightful city and experience some more Poutine, Pernot and Poussé.

“Custom is the great guide of human life.”

David Hume (1711 - 1776)

Holiday Wishes

Old Town Montreal, Canada 2007. Photo by Mr. Blue

"May you go forth under the strength of heaven,
under the light of sun, under the radiance of moon;
may you go forth with the splendor of fire,
with the speed of lightening, with the swiftness of wind;
may you go forth supported by the depth of sea,
by the stability of earth, by the firmness of rock;
May you be surrounded and encircled,
with the protection of the nine elements."

Old Celtic Blessing

Passing of the Storm

“Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.”

H. L. Mencken (1880-1956)

Once again I exhale to begin breathing. The storm has passed restoring the ability to see beyond the waning sunlight as the angels gently kiss me on the brow. I can not conceive as to why we are so blessed to experience a state of grace such as this. Why improbability of fate touches some and forsakes others? Watching the storm drift past the horizon I resolutely know with certainty that only time separates our next encounter. I am not so foolish to believe that we shall forever ignore the laws of probability. However on this day I watch with bounding spirit as the storm passes.

After a month of dread and numerous medical procedures it has been determined than the “massive mass” in my wife’s abdomen is a somewhat benign condition called a “Uterine Fibroid Tumor”. Uterine fibroids are nodules of smooth muscle cells and fibrous connective tissue that develop within the wall of the uterus. In her case it has grown to the size of a baseball. The prescribed treatment is to observe the mass every six weeks using ultrasound and if it remains benign we can ignore it. Once again life returns to a normal rhythm for which I am grateful.

“I believe in the love that you gave me
I believe in the faith that could save me
I believe in the hope
and I pray that some day
It may raise me above these”

Bruce Springsteen (Badlands)