“You can tell the character of every man when you see how he receives praise”.
Seneca, Epistles (5 BC - 65 AD)
The screen flickers with familiar images. A distinguished gentleman in an immaculate suit extols the greatness of the effort. In the silent room, ice cubes in a cocktail glass echo like chimes. Faces begin to stare at me with knowing smiles, hoping to capture the magic of the moment. The voice on the screen concludes as the music builds. A women dressed in a black evening gown discreetly places a trophy on the podium. Composing my thoughts I tug at cuffs of my white shirt so that they are properly revealed from beneath the sleeves of my black suit. I find myself sitting alone in the crowd disconnected from the activities surrounding me as if in a glass cage.
The lights dim as a single spotlight illuminates the gentleman at the podium. Muffled sounds of the kitchen staff drift into the ballroom as the rear doors open, and then swings shut. A loudspeaker recites an embarrassing list of accomplishments which I prepared and submitted to the committee. Although I have never met the gentleman at the podium he speaks with great affection, having known me for years. Discreetly I look at my watch out of habit not really caring what time it is.
My mind is distracted for a brief second as I watch a woman across the room learn over to smell a rose in the floral centerpiece as a candle highlights her cheeks. I’m disappointed that I left my camera in my hotel room never able to capture the image. Without warning the crowd erupts into applause. This is my cue to stand. Carefully I button the top button of my suit and adjust my tie out of reflex. Weaving my way through the tables I shake the hands of acquaintances while casually placing my other hand on their shoulder. I smile and nod to those that are out of reach as I finally clear the maze of linen covered tables. Bounding up the steps to the podium I embrace the stranger in the immaculate suit and greet him as a long lost relative. With all the pomp and circumstance of a high school graduation, he officially presents me the trophy. The perfectly shined silver trophy is immediately soiled by my fingerprints as smudges appear around where my name is inscribed. I find it ironic that act of presenting me the trophy physically degrades the prize.
Arm in arm with the trophy between us we turn toward the photographer, who will document this moment for history. I put on my best “you are being photographed smile” as we wait for the two flashes. She checks the images and smiles allowing the event to proceed without further interruption. With the grace of a college professor the emcee bows and extends a hand offering me the podium for a brief statement. A grab the sides of the podium and stand erect without any notes. Over the years I have developed a bad habit of speaking without notes. Although it keeps my comments fresh and spontaneous, it has also allowed me to digress and wander into issues I tend to regret later.
Looking out over from the podium, I am blinded by the spotlight unable to see the crowd. As if in a dream I’m standing alone at the podium surrounded by darkness. There is an awkward moment as the crowd is frozen waiting for me to begin. Someone in the back of the room coughs and I refocus my mind on the present. I begin by thanking the gentleman in the immaculate suit and the committee. Next comes thanking the crowd for attending and supporting the organization. Glancing to the table where my clients are seated I recognize and praise their vision in allowing the project to happen. Slowly but deliberately, I carve the triumph up into small pieces that are delivered to everyone who participated in the project, my staff, our consultants, the public officials, the donors and finally the benefactors. Along the way I mix in a few facts about the accomplishment while joking about my personal limitations.
In the middle of my acceptance speech, I’m silently lamenting the fact that we didn’t do more, that we weren’t creative enough, that we left too much on the table. Once a project is built all the flaws and failures are revealed for all to see. The design is no longer an abstract concept but a physical representation of an ideal. Once built all the wrong assumptions and miscalculations become apparent. I’m embarrassed that the solution which is being recognized is so flawed. Is the crowd so naïve that they can’t recognize the mediocrity of the solution? I think of Charles Ives who said “Awards are merely the badges of mediocrity”. It has been more than four years since this project found its way to paper. My understanding of design has evolved becoming more relevant. I no longer see the world the same way as I did four years ago. My senses have been sharpened by four years of perpetual motion. How could I not be embarrassed by the immaturity and ignorance of the solution?
As I step down from the podium the crowd again erupts into applause. Sadly I smile at the faces in the crowd never really allowing myself the opportunity to enjoy this fleeting moment of triumph. Next time they will see what we are really capable of, what design is. Passing back through the maze of linen covered tables I slow to receive the congratulations of friends and foes alike. Just as I approach my seat the screen flickers this time with unfamiliar images. My moment has concluded. The crowd has transitioned to some else’s moment. Politely I release the spotlight and fold back into being just another face in the crowd. With the crowd again focusing on the gentleman at the podium, I take my white linen napkin and begin to remove the stained fingerprints from the silver trophy.
The past five months has been exceptionally kind to me. I have repeated the long solitary march through the maze of white linen tables over twelve times. My work but most of all, the hard work of my staff has been recognized by five national, one regional and three local organizations. I have traveled to Chicago, Boston, San Diego, Kansas City, Des Moines and Washington DC to accept the praise of my peers. This recognition has lead to more than a dozen feature articles and speaking engagements. If we are to believe the adulations, we are at the top of our game. We are the flavor of the week. However I am unconvinced.
What we have accomplished pales in comparison to the potential. Our success provides us with one incredibly valuable piece of gold, the opportunity to secure the next prestigious commission to refine our craft. Our ability to be considered for the next design is having clients that are willing to place an enormous trust in us. Awards and recognition provides them with a tangible measurement of accomplishment. Having access to the most challenging complex problems is the crucible for innovation. As a firm, without the challenges that feed us we would intellectually starve. I have no illusions about what these awards mean. I understand with precision the manufacturing and packaging of the image which produces recognition. In the end we must keep our feet moving. In design the road to failure is compliancy. If along road, your eye captures a slight glimmer of gold, why not pick it up.
The lights dim as a single spotlight illuminates the gentleman at the podium. Muffled sounds of the kitchen staff drift into the ballroom as the rear doors open, and then swings shut. A loudspeaker recites an embarrassing list of accomplishments which I prepared and submitted to the committee. Although I have never met the gentleman at the podium he speaks with great affection, having known me for years. Discreetly I look at my watch out of habit not really caring what time it is.
My mind is distracted for a brief second as I watch a woman across the room learn over to smell a rose in the floral centerpiece as a candle highlights her cheeks. I’m disappointed that I left my camera in my hotel room never able to capture the image. Without warning the crowd erupts into applause. This is my cue to stand. Carefully I button the top button of my suit and adjust my tie out of reflex. Weaving my way through the tables I shake the hands of acquaintances while casually placing my other hand on their shoulder. I smile and nod to those that are out of reach as I finally clear the maze of linen covered tables. Bounding up the steps to the podium I embrace the stranger in the immaculate suit and greet him as a long lost relative. With all the pomp and circumstance of a high school graduation, he officially presents me the trophy. The perfectly shined silver trophy is immediately soiled by my fingerprints as smudges appear around where my name is inscribed. I find it ironic that act of presenting me the trophy physically degrades the prize.
Arm in arm with the trophy between us we turn toward the photographer, who will document this moment for history. I put on my best “you are being photographed smile” as we wait for the two flashes. She checks the images and smiles allowing the event to proceed without further interruption. With the grace of a college professor the emcee bows and extends a hand offering me the podium for a brief statement. A grab the sides of the podium and stand erect without any notes. Over the years I have developed a bad habit of speaking without notes. Although it keeps my comments fresh and spontaneous, it has also allowed me to digress and wander into issues I tend to regret later.
Looking out over from the podium, I am blinded by the spotlight unable to see the crowd. As if in a dream I’m standing alone at the podium surrounded by darkness. There is an awkward moment as the crowd is frozen waiting for me to begin. Someone in the back of the room coughs and I refocus my mind on the present. I begin by thanking the gentleman in the immaculate suit and the committee. Next comes thanking the crowd for attending and supporting the organization. Glancing to the table where my clients are seated I recognize and praise their vision in allowing the project to happen. Slowly but deliberately, I carve the triumph up into small pieces that are delivered to everyone who participated in the project, my staff, our consultants, the public officials, the donors and finally the benefactors. Along the way I mix in a few facts about the accomplishment while joking about my personal limitations.
In the middle of my acceptance speech, I’m silently lamenting the fact that we didn’t do more, that we weren’t creative enough, that we left too much on the table. Once a project is built all the flaws and failures are revealed for all to see. The design is no longer an abstract concept but a physical representation of an ideal. Once built all the wrong assumptions and miscalculations become apparent. I’m embarrassed that the solution which is being recognized is so flawed. Is the crowd so naïve that they can’t recognize the mediocrity of the solution? I think of Charles Ives who said “Awards are merely the badges of mediocrity”. It has been more than four years since this project found its way to paper. My understanding of design has evolved becoming more relevant. I no longer see the world the same way as I did four years ago. My senses have been sharpened by four years of perpetual motion. How could I not be embarrassed by the immaturity and ignorance of the solution?
As I step down from the podium the crowd again erupts into applause. Sadly I smile at the faces in the crowd never really allowing myself the opportunity to enjoy this fleeting moment of triumph. Next time they will see what we are really capable of, what design is. Passing back through the maze of linen covered tables I slow to receive the congratulations of friends and foes alike. Just as I approach my seat the screen flickers this time with unfamiliar images. My moment has concluded. The crowd has transitioned to some else’s moment. Politely I release the spotlight and fold back into being just another face in the crowd. With the crowd again focusing on the gentleman at the podium, I take my white linen napkin and begin to remove the stained fingerprints from the silver trophy.
The past five months has been exceptionally kind to me. I have repeated the long solitary march through the maze of white linen tables over twelve times. My work but most of all, the hard work of my staff has been recognized by five national, one regional and three local organizations. I have traveled to Chicago, Boston, San Diego, Kansas City, Des Moines and Washington DC to accept the praise of my peers. This recognition has lead to more than a dozen feature articles and speaking engagements. If we are to believe the adulations, we are at the top of our game. We are the flavor of the week. However I am unconvinced.
What we have accomplished pales in comparison to the potential. Our success provides us with one incredibly valuable piece of gold, the opportunity to secure the next prestigious commission to refine our craft. Our ability to be considered for the next design is having clients that are willing to place an enormous trust in us. Awards and recognition provides them with a tangible measurement of accomplishment. Having access to the most challenging complex problems is the crucible for innovation. As a firm, without the challenges that feed us we would intellectually starve. I have no illusions about what these awards mean. I understand with precision the manufacturing and packaging of the image which produces recognition. In the end we must keep our feet moving. In design the road to failure is compliancy. If along road, your eye captures a slight glimmer of gold, why not pick it up.
“We find greatest joy, not in getting, but expressing what we are. Men do not really live for honors or for pay; their gladness is not in the taking and holding, but in the doing, the striving, the building, the living. It is a higher joy to teach than to be taught. It is good to get justice, but better to do it; fun to have things, but more to make them. The happy man is he who lives the life of love, not for the honors it may bring, but for the life itself.”
R. J. Baughan
